Prologue:
[Shot of the whole planet of Tawneria from space, captioned as Tawneria.]
[Zoom in on the planet, showing panic amongst Triangle headed Tawnerians as their planet is about to explode.]
[A large crowd surrounds a small, lone escape pod, as a newborn Tawnerian swaddled in red is loaded into it.]
Mother(shadowed): My child…My dear, sweet Maddox…As one story ends, another begins…
[He is loaded into the escape pod]
Father(shadowed): Don’t cry dear…I know that he will carry on the legacy of all our peoples…no matter where he may go…Maddox……You are destined for greatness…
[The escape pod is launched into space across the cosmos, as Tawneria blows up, and then bursts into flames, and gets sucked into a black hole, and then the black hole blows up, and then everything around it blows up.]
[The escape pod continues to race across the stars, travelling lightyears upon lightyears, passing planets until it crashes into Earth, leaving a large crater in the middle of a forest in Massachusetts.]
[The escape pod opens up with a hiss, smoke falling out of the door as it opens, revealing a newborn Maddox sitting inside]
“...and that’s the story of how I got here…” His story is met by utter silence, save for the sloppy applause of the infant he held in his arms. “That was just Megamind.” said Jack. “What? No. That was the story of how my home planet exploded! And what the scallop is Megamind?” “You know what Megamind is! You literally had the ‘destined for greatness’ line in there!” retorted Jack. “No I don’t! What is it?” Maddox insisted, prompting Eustice to pipe up, saying “Wait, Maddox, have you really never seen it? Oh, it’s such a good movie! You should really watch it.” “It has Will Ferrell in it.” “Lincoln, you say that as if I know who Will Ferrell is.” “That’s Buddy the Elf.” replied Lincoln. “Ah. I see.” said Maddox. “I mean, I guess my story’s kinda like Elf.” Keith rolled his eyes. “No, not like Elf, like Megamind.” “But you just said he was Megamind!” “Well he’s not actually Megamind! He’s not either of those people!” Keith yelled. Calvin chuckled from the other room. “Do we need to explain what an actor is to you?” “Please do! I’m very confused!” Jack took a deep breath. “So, you know how when you go outside, in order to not freak everyone out, you dress up and…ACT…as a human?” He explained it as you would to a child. “...yyyesss? Yes! Yes. I do know, actually.” Everyone looked expectantly at Maddox for a moment. “Ohhhhhhhh…”
Everyone goes to a restaurant
Maddox leaves for the bathroom or something
He gets distracted and leaves
He gets kidnapped by Kyle and Lilith
They take him on a really long drive through space back to Tawneria
Everyone notices Maddox is gone
Wtf
Theyre all like “eh whatever he’ll be back.”
Fast forward like a week
He's still gone
Bruh
Everything is boring because theres no silly alien shenanigans anymore
The baby is depressed
They find a clue or some camera footage of Maddox being kidnapped
“Guess we’re going to space”
They go to Maddox’s evil lab or something where he has a rocket
Exodus is there. Hi Exodus.
The baby flies everyone into space at mach fuck to get Maddox back
The last couple of scenes are interspersed with the Tawnerian trio on their long road trip to their home planet
Oh finally we’re here
Tawneria is a chimera of celestial carcasses. A black hole of a planet with an insatiable desire for more. Steel bonds the cracked remains of the worlds to each other, yet the use of blood as the true connector is evident.
Maddox is all like “Yup this is home, this is totally where I came from”
K&L shackle him and start to take him to the castle
“Dude wtf Im a prisoner? You didn’t tell me that!”
“Yeah get trolled lol”
They take him to the palace
They meet the king
King wants Maddox dead.
Ah shit.
Maddox is thrown into the death pit colosseum
At least his butt looks good in the armor(it doesn't)
The rest of the gang reaches Tawneria because the baby rocket is infinitely faster then K&L’s
They unknowingly land outside of the main settlement of Tawneria
The main settlement is a flourishing city of gold built on bloodshed
The rest of the world looks like Zenith from Godzilla NES Creepypasta
So yeah the rest of the guys have to deal with flesh monstrosities
Eventually they make it to the city
They’re immediately kidnapped because “Uh hey why tf aren't these guys orange?”
Back to the colosseum
Maddox has managed to kill like, 3 other Tawnerians soldiers
The audience is all like “what the fuck?”
The king is watching with great interest
K&L are sucking him off for a promotion or something while he watches
“Alright, he’s exactly what I thought. Bring out the Mitositaur.”
Colosseum turns into a labyrinth and the Mitositaur comes out
The Mitositaur in just a Minotaur but it looks like its being split in two, so it has three eyes, nostrils, and legs. Only two arms tho, its splitting down the middle.
Anyways, Maddox is shitting himself, and rightfully so.
A little later a bunch of soldiers barge into where the king is watching and are like”Hey lord ruler boss your majesty we found these white boys a baby and an arcade machine”
King is all like “Dude i literally dgaf throw then in the dungeon or shit we’ll kill em later”
So everyone else is thrown into the dungeon
Cut back to Maddox who is running for his fucking life
He somehow manages to kill the beast through Rube Goldberg shenanigans
“...Damn i'm Fucking goated.”
Crowd goes fucking wild, they love him!(They hate him.)
King is like “Thats him. That is the guy i've been looking for.”
He rewards K&L for doing a good job and not being complete fuck ups
The King stands up while everyone is screaming and they all silence immediately
He announces “My son has returned!”
Maddox is all like “His what.”
Everyone else in the crowd is like “His what.”
“...If you all don’t start cheering for the royal heir to the throne I will make sure you all lose at least two limbs each.”
Woo yay yeah wow the prince has returned yippee
The King takes Maddox, Kyle, and Lilith to the castle while everyone else stays in the Colosseum
Anyways back in prison
The other 6 are in a jail cell
Every other cell in there is filled with bones
Eustice says its time for a prison movie escape and he starts digging out with a plastic spoon
No Eustice that isn't gonna work
Evil Red Baby is eating a jar of carrot puree (enough to feed you your entire life)
Keith’s racism powers activate
They disguise him as a guard using the power of orangeface
He tricks a guard into unlocking the cell and everyone jumps them
Lincoln, Keith, and the Baby leave the cell, but Eustice is dead set on that spoon tunnel, Calvin really wants to see how it turns out, and Jack feels like someone needs to stay with these idiots.
Lincoln and Keith go off one direction, trying to find where Maddox is, while the Baby searches for the ship and Exodus
Eustice continues to work on the spoon tunnel for like 20 more minutes
More guards show up but Calvin just kills them all
Calvin and Jack get tired of the stupid tunnel and Calvin just punches through the wall
The wall leads to the city, which is empty because everyone is in the colosseum by the King’s orders
The 3 see the blood red castle in the distance
“Oh yeah thats where Maddox is. 100%”
They begin moving towards the castle while stopping for some Tawnerian culture along the way (very fascinating!)
Lincoln and Keith still think Maddox is in the Colosseum, so they look around the underground chambers and see a bunch of horrifying beasts from the planet’s surface
They find weapons and armor and suit up for fun like idiots
But they were actually standing on a platform that raises them up into the arena along with the monsters
Oh shit
The baby is just waddling through the giant empty halls below the kingdom
He manages to find where the crashed ship was taken, with a few Tawnerian scientists studying it
He finds Exodus being disassembled and studied as well
Awesome baby stealth mode
Steals Exodus’ main processing something or whatever and runs into the ship
Translated from baby silence:”Dude wtf are they doing to you”
“Trying to reprogram me or sumthin”
“Why?”
“Cuz I’m actually Tawnerian tech.”
“Wtf? You Didn’t tell me that!”
“You barely have a concept of object permanence how can I expect you to understand life beyond the cosmos”
Conversation is interrupted by the ship being put in a junkyard car crusher thing
So yeah pretty much everyone is on a cliffhanger now lol
So lets go back to Maddox everyone’s favorite yaaaaaay
That group is walking through the castle halls while the King explains the history of Tawneria to Maddox, which is very bloody
Maddox isn’t listening at all because wow everything’s so shiny and he doesn’t want to say anything with Kyle and Lilith nearby
The King leads the group to a vault and says “Alright you two did good, you get one trip into the treasure room and can leave with as much as you can hold, now go.”
The two kidnappers run into the pool of gold and Scrooge McDuck shit happens
“Now for you, my son, I have something far more special for you.”
Lol jk get cliffhung idoit
Lets go back to Keith and Lincoln, who are fighting for their lives
Its really hard to describe fighting in writing but believe me they are
Some guards notice them in the pit and are all like “Ha nice idea putting them in there other guard” “uhhhh yep I did that im so genius” “We had like 5 more where are the rest” “Uhhhh I uh spaced em out yeah” “Oh ok”
Anyways a few cool fight scenes later and Keith’s all like “Ok yknow what maybe Eustice’s tunnel isn’t such a bad idea”
They start to dig out through the bottom of the sand pit and no one notices because obviously people are gonna care more about the giant kaiju fights than the fatass and the stoner
They keep digging until they find a sewer drain to crawl through used for flooding the stadium and draining blood cuz boy theres a lotta that
The pipe passes over the scrap room where the baby is for a cool transition into that stuff
ERB is trying to escape the ship before it gets crushed
He jumps out of the ship right in front of like 3 scientists who all try to kidnap him and Exodus again
He kills them all with an explosive because you know he's always got a spare bomb on him
Stops the crushers before the ship is destroyed but its still super banged up
Time for an awesome repair montage
Back to Jack Eustice and Calvin
After stopping to steal some Tawnerian food which is surprisingly okayish, they reach the castle
They walk in to the big empty halls and come face to face with Kyle and Lilith who are covered in gold armor and jewelry, and carrying as many gold coins as possible
They stare down each other for a few seconds
“Calvin what are you doing I thought you would’ve killed them off screen by now”
“I thought so too hold on lemme check something”
He pulls out a big book detailing everything in the universe and finds that Kyle and Lilith are relevant characters
“Thats why”
They have a cool fight
The baby ship crashes into the palace a few seconds later
A few rooms away, Maddox and the King hear the explosions
“What was that?”
“Idk prolly nothing lets walk faster for no reason”
“Ok”
The King continues to lead Maddox to the throne room
“So, uh, Dad. I thought the planet blew up.”
“Nah we’re all fine.”
“So then remind why I was cast off into space?”
“Cuz uh, yknow, you were like, the strongest, and showed the most promise, uh, yeah.”
“Did you have to send me so far away? You’d think I’d be on a closer planet so that you can keep a closer eye on me.”
“Oh yeah I shoulda thought of that haha”
“I mean, you really had me going when I thought I was a prisoner or something-”
“Ok shut up you talk too much wow look at that its my throne you wanna sit on it?”
The King finally gets Maddox to stop asking questions and shows him his glorious, giant throne.
The throne is covered in spikes of red and black, practically made for Maddox.
Obviously, he sits on it, because what else is he gonna do, not sit on it???
He takes a seat, and who would’ve thought, its a trap.
“God you’re fucking stupid”
“Wait what”
Maddox gets sucked into the original core of the planet
The king explains shit while Maddox is trapped
“You were never actually my son, but in a sense you were dispatched to another planet because of how strong you were. You and I are both pureblood Tawnerians, and the only thing that can kill a pureblood Tawnerian, is another one. So obviously when you were born, I had to get rid of you because I’m an evil king and thats what we do. It was easy to do so because I framed you as a freak with your triangle head. But what the people didn’t know was that all pureblood Tawnerians have triangle heads!”
He moves his beard to reveal a pointy chin dun dun dun
“Yes the people are very uneducated. They’re smart, they just don’t know some pretty important details. Such as that thing behind you.”
Maddox turns around to see the core of Tawneria, a giant writhing flesh mass wired to all the other parts of the planet like a brain firing neurons. (Trypophobia warning i think)
“Meet the core of Tawneria. The Giga Hive, as I call it. Pureblood Tawnerians have a connection to it, almost as if our brains are linked. I’m the reason our planet is what it is today. Every planet conquered is added to the size, letting us destroy more, and continue the cycle. But you were a threat to that. Had we reached Earth and you were alive, well. You could pretty handily stop it. But I got you now. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
Meanwhile, with the people who might potentially stop the King hint hint nudge nudge wink wink
Keith Lincoln Exodus and the Baby hop out of the crashed ship and help fight
The gang now outnumbers Kyle and Lilith 7 to 2
“What the hell you guys can’t have reinforcements thats not fair”
They get the hell out of there to look for the king and everyone chases
They break their way into the throne room
“Hey Lilith. Where’s the throne?”
“Idk its supposed to be right here where this giant tunnel is.”
In the middle of their thinking, the idiots crash into them and they all fall down the hole into the core of the planet.
They all crash right behind the King as he’s about to obliterate Maddox or something
“Fucking hell I was about to kill this guy come on gimme a break”
“Hey what the hell is this place”
“Doesn’t matter. I have to kill you now.”
He opens the pod with Maddox in it
“Ok. everyone in. Lets go.”
Everyone gets in the pod because this guy is like 20 feet tall wtf are you gonna do not listen to the 20 foot tall alien dictator?
“Ok then can I kill you guys now?”
“Nah lol.”
Maddox jumped out of the pod when he opened it to put everyone else in
“GOD. FUCKING. DAMMIT.”
Maddox slides out of there through a fire exit or something stupid and the King chases after him because he doesn’t actually give a fuck about the rest of the losers
Maddox books it through the castle and into the city while the King breaks through walls and runs after him pissed as hell
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Maddox gets to the colosseum where all of the Tawnerians are
He jumps back into the middle from the King’s seat and the King jumps after him
They have a cool fight in the middle of the arena while all the Tawnerians look on confused
After trading blows Maddox pulls off the King’s beard revealing his triangle face
Everyone points and gawks
“The King’s a freak! Freak! Freak King! Freak!”
This pisses off the King who starts thrashing about
Maddox escapes all the way back to the castle
“Omg Maddox you’re back free us!”
“Hah…Hoo…Yeah just gimme a sec…Woof…God…Alright, yeah. Yeah.”
Everyone gets out and runs up the fire exit because thats the bit Im using for how people get out of the core of the planet
“Wait!” Maddox yells to Evil Red Baby.
He takes the baby and shakes him upside down and a bunch of explosives fall out of him
“Alright now you can go.”
Maddox takes the bombs and runs into the core of the planet
Everyone else runs to the ship that was crashed into the ceiling and begin fixing it so they can say goodbye to this godless planet
“Hey wait why are you two helping us I thought you worked for the big guy”
“Uhhhh seeing the Giga Hive disconnected us from the King’s control yeah thats it”
Speaking of the King he comes crashing down into the core and heads into the Giga Hive searching for Maddox
Maddox is in the center planting the explosives
King finds him and again Maddox is chased around but he gets caught this time
The King is covered in blood, and the planet is likely less populated than it was before. His neck is stretching out too, and all of his features are exaggerated, like somehow he’s even spikier
He’s holding Maddox by his neck and is about to bite his head off like the tootsie pop owl
BUT HERE COMES EVIL RED BABY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
“Thank you son.”
Maddox lights the explosives on a very long rope and runs away
“GUYS LETS GO NOW WTF ARE WE DOING”
They all get in the ship and fly far away
Howwillthisaffectfishingseason.png
Yaaaay we did it yaaay
Fuck I don’t know what else to put here
Everyone goes back to Earth ig
Kyle and Lilith were the only two saved so I guess they live there now
Idk if they’re good or bad guys now but whatever
The End